


Used

by texasbelle91



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, Gen, Underage Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-22
Updated: 2016-11-03
Packaged: 2018-04-10 17:40:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage
Chapters: 9
Words: 14,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4401215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/texasbelle91/pseuds/texasbelle91
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em></em>
  <br/>
  <strong>Okay, this is a little idea I had for a Rick/Beth story. I'm really not sure how this first chapter worked out but there's more posted on fanfiction.net. I am slowly posting it here as well. Please let me know what y'all think of this.</strong>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <em></em>
  <br/>
  <strong>DISCLAIMER: I do not own the Walking Dead or it's characters.</strong>
  <br/>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Used

Chapter 1

________________________________________

_Beth's pov-_

I remember that first day when he walked up to me, he was a perfect gentleman.

Of course I saw his wedding band but when he touched me, that was it.

I had seen the picture of his wife and son that he carried in his wallet but when we were together, none of that mattered anymore.

I had never intended for things to go as far as they did or for as long as it had.

I wanted so badly to come clean about what we had done but I had gotten myself into a situation where I was willing to keep somethin' hidden. Even from him and even if I knew how much it would hurt everyone if they knew the truth.

It was too late to do anythin' about it now. We, or should I say I, was in over my head.

________________________________________

I wiped my face as the doctor handed me my newborn baby girl and my heart began to race.

Looking down at her and around the room at my family, I knew what I had to do. It wasn't that I didn't want her or that none of us loved her. She was a reminder of what I had done.

Even if I had told my family every detail, I would always know the truth.

Mama and Maggie were waitin' with me while the lady from the agency talked me through the process.

"How old are you?" she asked.

"I'm 18."

"Is there a reason you want this?"

I looked at mama holdin' her, "Yes ma'am. I can't take care of her."

"Well, it seems you have a good support system and help here..."

"I know. But I plan on goin' out of state for college and I can't raise her on my own."

"Do you know who the father is?" she asked.

"No ma'am," I lied.

She continued to ask questions and told me what I could expect over the next few weeks.

________________________________________

We were allowed to take her home for a few days to make sure I had the chance to change my mind.

I held her as much as I could and so do everyone else.

They all begged me to keep her, said they'd all pitch in and help. But I couldn't.

Mama and daddy loved her and so did Shawn and Maggie. They tried to find ways to change my mind but they didn't work.

Our time with her flew by and before we knew it, she was gone.

The lady assured us they'd find her a good home and I prayed they did.

________________________________________

It's been eight months since I last saw her and five months since everythin' around us started changin'.

Mama and Shawn got sick and daddy and Maggie went back to treatin' me like a kid.

I know they're tryin' to protect me from whatever sickness is goin' around but that just leaves me with too much time to think.

________________________________________

I heard all the shouts downstairs and things bein' thrown around.

"Bethie, we need your help," Maggie said bustin' into my room.

She hurried into the guest room after tellin' me to get a bowl of water and bring it in there because Otis had accidentally shot a little boy.

I filled a bowl and carried it to the guest room.

My heart stopped beatin', my eyes widened and the only thing I could hear was the sound of the bowl shattering on the floor when his eyes locked with mine.

"Get her out of here," daddy told Maggie, "she doesn't need to see this."

"I'm sorry," she told daddy before she pulled me out of the room.

Maggie helped me upstairs and began apologizing for askin' me to help.

It took me a few minutes to get over the shock but when I did, I realized Maggie and probably everyone else, thought I was shocked at the amount of blood that was coverin' the little boy but that wasn't it.

It was him. I was in shock because I never expected to see him again.

I laid back on my bed and started cryin' when Maggie left.

I couldn't believe how stupid I was. I still can't believe it now.

________________________________________

"Bethie," Patricia woke me up the next mornin', "we have visitors. Please come help us in the kitchen."

"Yes ma'am," I said as I rolled out of bed.

I didn't want to see him but I couldn't let anyone know who he was.

As far as they knew, my ex boyfriend Jimmy had been the baby's father.

I buried my face in my hands.

What would mama and daddy say or think if they found out what I had done?

It was hard enough when everyone in town found out that I was pregnant. I could only imagine how much harder of would've been if they had known the baby's father was older, married and had a kid.

I can imagine how bad things are gonna be when daddy finds out the truth.

I remember the looks I'd received and how everyone would shake their heads when they saw me.

"It's such a shame. You're mother and father are such good Christians." I heard that from more than a few people.

Before I left my bedroom, I said a silent prayer that he wouldn't be here long.

________________________________________

I remember everythin' about our last night together.

"I'm gonna leave her," he told me one night. After that, it became a constant reassurance whenever we were together. Even on the night I ended it.

"No you're not," I told him, "You're gonna leave here, go home to your wife and son and you're gonna forget about me."

 

"Beth," he brushed his thumb across my cheek, "I'm leavin' her. I've been talkin' to a lawyer."

I shook my head.

I had been such a fool but I was no longer willing to put myself through whatever it was between us.

I turned away from him when he tried to kiss me. This was it. I tried my best not to lose my nerve as I walked away.

He called and texted but I couldn't be that girl anymore. I couldn't be someone I hated. Even if I loved him, it wasn't fair to his wife, his son or myself to continue.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I am truly sorry if this chapter isn't the best. I have an idea of where and how I want the story to go. Anyway, thank y'all so much for your support on this and my other stories. Please let me know what you think about this chapter, good or bad.

Used

Chapter 2

________________________________________

**Rick-**

Carl's doin' much better and I know he should be my main focus but I can't help but think of Beth.

I wasn't expectin' to see her here but she's been on my mind since I saw her.

I was willing to leave Lori for her. Actually, it was that I was willing to do it, I was going to do it.

It's been well over a year since she ended things but I haven't stopped lovin' her. Even now I can't help but wonder what it'd be like to be with her again. How different things would be.

I'd have fought for custody of Carl, I know that much. Maybe she and I would have a kid of our own now. We wouldn't have had to adopt.

________________________________________

**Lori-**

**I was sittin' on the couch in the livin' room of the farmhouse bouncing our little girl while I watched Hershel's youngest daughter.**

**There was somethin' about her that was so familiar, like I had seen her before.**

**I stood up and walked over to the fireplace, lookin' at the pictures on the mantel.**

**"Those are both of Hershel's girls," Patricia said from beside me and pointed them out, "that's Maggie when she first started walkin' and that's Beth. She was so stubborn, she refused to walk."**

**"Who's that?" I pointed to a picture of another baby girl.**

**"That's Hershel's granddaughter," she lowered her eyes, "she's no longer with us."**

**"Oh, how did she...?" I stopped myself from sayin' anything else. I didn't want to upset her, "Which of Hershel's children does she belong to?"**

**Patricia smiled, "Beth."**

**I was a little shocked, "Beth? She's so young."**

**She didn't say anything else about Beth or her baby. She smiled politely and left the room.**

**________________________________________**

****Beth-** **

**They've all been here for a week but I haven't spoken to any of them. Really, I haven't even been around them. I stay in the house, in my room, or on the back porch so I don't have to talk to anyone.**

**Rick stays with his son mostly and though I recognized his wife, I haven't said anythin' to her. I mean, what am I supposed to say?**

**I feel bad for her about what happened to her son but I can't look her in eyes and be able to hide what I did with her husband. That's somethin' she doesn't need to worry about right now.**

**I jumped when someone touched my arm.**

**I turned to see Rick standin' there.**

**"Beth, can we talk?"**

**"No," I shook my head.**

**I didn't have anythin' to say to him. I was more than happy to just let everythin' go.**

**"We need to talk," he said.**

**"No we don't, Rick," I said as politely as I could before I walked away.**

**I practically ran into the livin' room tryin' to get away from Rick and avoid the others.**

**I stopped though when I saw Lori standing there, lookin' at the pictures that were on the wall with a baby in her arms.**

**She doesn't know how lucky she is. I may have been a little jealous that she had what I had wanted. But it wasn't mine and it never will be.  
____________________________**

****Rick-** **

**Watching her walk away this time hurt just as much as it did before. It shouldn't but it did.**

**I remember drivin' two counties over for a reason I knew was wrong. I had believed I had the perfect marriage, the perfect family. By all appearances, we were happily married but that couldn't have been further from the truth.**

**Lori had been pullin' away from me and shuttin' me out for years now.**

**What I was doin' was wrong in so many ways but when I pulled up at the motel, I quickly forgot every reason I had not to be there.**

**I wasn't there because of Lori, I was at first but then it was only because of Beth.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Used**

**Chapter 3**

* * *

**Beth** -

Rick's son was doin' so much better. He was up walkin' around and daddy didn't have to keep much of an eye on his stitches.

I overheard daddy talkin' to Rick yesterday, he asked them to leave as soon as he took Carl's stitches out, he figured it would be at least two more days.

Two more days.

I just needed to make it two more days without sayin' anythin' to Rick and without breakin' down and tellin' Lori and everyone else the truth.

If I did that, there would be a lot more that needed explaining. Not just why I had allowed myself to fall in love with a married man but also why I kept it from everyone, him included, that he was my baby's father.

I need a distraction. Badly!

* * *

 **Rick** -

I was goin' over some maps with Shane, Daryl and Glenn when I saw Beth walk out of the house.

I watched her walk towards the barn and waited a few minutes before I excused myself.

Makin' sure no one was around or saw me, I slipped into the barn.

I needed to talk to her, even if she doesn't want to.

She was brushin' a horse when I found her.

She rolled her eyes when she saw me, "I have nothin' to say to you, Rick."

"Why are you actin' like I'm the one who ended things?"

"I'm not," she continued to brush the horse, not botherin' to look up at me.

I walked over, put my hand over hers to still the brush and turned her around to face me.

"Beth, we need to talk about what happened. You left without lettin' me say anythin'."

"What else was there for you to say? You told me you were filing for a divorce. If you truly wanted that, if you wanted to be with me or someone else, you should have filed for the divorce _before_ you did anythin'. I didn't and still don't want to be the reason for your marriage ending."

"Our marriage was over long before I met you. We were only stayin' together because of Carl."

She huffed, "Well, it looks like things worked out, didn't they?"

"What?"

"Y'all have a baby together, so I guess that means that things are better between y'all."

I rubbed my face, "Beth, would you listen to me? Lori and I are over. Have been for a long time. And as for Rebecca, we adopted her. We love her, yes, but we adopted her in an attempt to save our marriage. It didn't work. I don't love her and she doesn't love me."

Beth scoffed, "I don't believe you. Lori is nothing like the things you said. The way you described her, she was a horrible person, a lousy mother and even worse wife. You lied to me. I was a fool to not walk away sooner than I did but I did, Rick and there's no goin' back."

I didn't think before I acted, I just grabbed her and kissed her. She didn't pull away or tell me to stop, she did put her arms around my neck and started to kiss me back.

"Rick?" Lori called out from outside the barn.

Beth pulled away and shook her head, "Just go."

* * *

 **Lori** -

I had been searching for Rick so we could all sit down and discuss what Glenn had just told us.

"The barn is full of walkers?"

"Yeah," Glenn spoke nervously, "the old barn. Hershel doesn't believe they're dead, just sick."

Everyone lost their cool ans stormed off towards it, angry and screamin'.

After all the commotion was over, we all sat around the fire talkin' and keepin' an eye on the barn.

Hershel's two daughters brought some food out to us and sat with us for a little bit.

Maggie was angry that Glenn told us about the barn but otherwise she was talkative and friendly to the rest of us.

Beth however, sat there quietly. She looked scared and nervous. She actually jumped when Rebecca started babbling. I felt sorry for her, knowin' she had lost her baby girl. When she looked towards me and Rebecca, she quickly stood up and ran off.

Poor girl, she's probably hid what she's goin' through from her father and sister.

We settled into our tents for the night. Rick was on watch and would be for awhile so Carl begged to stay up with him.

I agreed. It would be nice to be able to stretch out in the tent.

I fell asleep quicker than I had in weeks.

I had suspected Rick was cheating on me for a while, even before our separation.

One night I finally got the courage to follow him. I wasn't quite sure what I would say or do if I actually caught him with someone but I had to find out, if only for my peace of mind.

The way he touched her face and the smile on his did nothing to reassure me this was just a one time thing or just because we were separated.

He took her hand and led her to his car, that's when I noticed her clothing. It was an insignificant thing to notice but she obviously wasn't someone he picked up at a bar or anything like that. She had her hair pulled up in a bun, a pink sundress and cowboy boots. She was pretty, a little younger than I expected, but she had his full attention. If he treated me the way he was treating her, we wouldn't have problems.

My eyes shot open and I sat up in the tent. I hadn't known anything about her except she was sleeping with my husband but now I know exactly who that girl was.

* * *


	4. Chapter 4

**Used**

**Chapter 4**

* * *

**Beth** -

Daddy had told us Mama and Shawn were in that barn but I didn't know what they were.

When Shane opened the barn door and they all came walking out and they started shootin', my heart stopped.

Everythin' happened so fast. I didn't know who had shot Mama and Shawn but I had to see them.

I ran towards Mama but Rick grabbed my arm and tried to stop me.

* * *

 **Rick** -

I knew this wasn't gonna be good when Beth ran towards the dead walkers.

I tried to stop her but she shrugged me off and ran to her mothers body, cryin'.

"Mom," she whispered, then there was the unmistakable moan of a walker.

Beth started screamin'.

We were able to pull her away and kill her mother.

Hershel made it clear that he wanted us off his land, or at least he wanted Shane off his land.

After that, I waited 'til things had calmed down enough before I slipped into the house. I felt like an idiot but I had to make sure Beth was alright.

* * *

 **Beth** -

I was on my bed cryin' when I heard the faint sound of someone knockin' on my door. It was so quick and light I thought I had imagined it until the door slowly opened.

Rick stood there quietly watchin' me as if he was afraid to make any sudden moves.

Before I could even think about what I as doin', I jumped off the bed and threw myself into Rick's arms, cryin'.

He held me closer to him with one hand and closed the door with the other before resting it on my back.

"I'm so sorry, Beth. I tried to stop Shane."

I shook my head as I cried harder. That bastard had opened the barn and killed my mama and brother and all I could do was stand here and cry! I should've been stronger. I should've told him to leave like Maggie and daddy did. I wanted nothin' more than to be able to him or yell at him or...somethin'.

"Everythin's gonna be alright," he whispered.

Rick slowly moved me towards the bed and we both sat down. He kept his arms around and continued to tell me that everythin' would be alright.

* * *

 **Lori** -

Hershel seemingly disappeared. He had a lot to deal with after what happened this morning but he needed to hear us out.

I don't completely agree other how Shane handled things, there was a better way, but we knew what those things were and Hershel didn't.

They may have once been his family and friends but they were no longer that. They couldn't be cured or whatever he had hoped for. They were dead and they were dangerous.

Everyone was out searching for Hershel but I had a feeling Maggie knew where he was when I saw her and Glenn leaving in one of the cars. She was carrying something black in her hands and had a sad look in her eyes.

I walked inside and found Patricia at the kitchen table with her head in her hands.

"Where are Maggie and Glenn goin'?" I asked.

She looked up and wiped her eyes, "They're going to get Hershel. We think he may have gone to a bar in town."

"Oh," I started to say something else but she stood and walked out of the back door.

I heard a thump upstairs and knew it must've been Beth.

I went upstairs to her room but I noticed her bedroom door was slightly open.

I couldn't see much peering in through the crack so I gave it a gentle push.

Rick was sitting on her bed and she was sitting in his lap with his arms around her. She had one hand on the back of his neck while the other unbuttoned his shirt.

My chest felt like it was about to explode and I felt like my entire stomach was about to jump out of my mouth.

He was with her!

With everything that's happened I had completely forgotten about her and him.

I stood there in shock but they didn't notice me.

Beth ran her hands over Rick's chest then she threw her head back. That's when I noticed he had one hand under her shirt.

How could they do this?

I took hold of the doorknob and slung it all the way open, letting it hit the wall.

They both jumped up and fumbled with their clothes.

My fists clenched as I walked towards them.

"How could you?!"

"Lori," Rick took a step towards me.

"I know who she is, Rick, so there's no need to act like this was the first time," he stepped close enough I started hitting him, "how could you? With her?! You cheated on me you bastard!"

"I didn't cheat in you, Lori! Cheating is what you did with Shane, in our home, in our bed!"

"You fucked her, Rick! It's the same thing!"

"Keep tellin' yourself that, Lori. We were separated when I started seein' Beth. Unlike you with Shane, she wasn't just a good time."

"Lori, I'm really sorry," Beth said in almost a whisper.

I looked past Rick to Beth, "We have two kids and you fucked my husband so don't tell me you're sorry. Don't you dare cry and try to act like you didn't know he was married!"

"Lori," Rick grabbed my arm, "lower your voice!"

"No! I will not lower my voice. Everyone should know what a little whore she is and what kind of man you are."

"I love her, Lori."

I busted out laughing, "You love her?! Oh how rich."

I looked at Beth, "You actually believe he loves you?!"

Beth wiped her tears from her face.

"Go ahead, cry all you want, Beth. Shane was right to open that barn door. You deserved to see that just like you deserved to lose your baby!"

Her eyes grew wide and fearful and she looked like she was about to pass out.

A few tears slid down her cheeks before she ran out of the room.

"Get the hell out of here," Rick growled.

I scoffed, "I'm goin'."

* * *

 **Beth** -

I ran past Patricia and out to the barn where mama and Shawn were.

Today has not been a good day. These people come here and kill my mom and brother and then Lori screams at me like I'm a child!

I know it was wrong. God, I know that but...no there are no 'buts'. I messed up, he messed up.

Oh my God! Lori is going to tell everyone!

I sat down and started cryin' again.

Everythin' would be fine if I could just disappear.


	5. Chapter 5

** Used **

** Chapter 5 **

* * *

**Rick** -

There was a few minutes between the time Lori walked out of Beth's room and when I realized I needed to talk to Beth.

When I walked out of the house I saw Lori by the tents. I could tell by the look on her face she was tryin' to figure out what she was gonna say.

"Lori," I walked up to her and grabbed her arm, "Whatever you're thinkin' about tellin' everyone, you need to forget it."

"Why, Rick?" she shoved me away from her, "So you can have your fun? Be with her? Do you really think her father is gonna let you anywhere near her once I tell him about you and her?"

"Why are you bein' a bitch about this? You were with Shane and God knows who else before we separated. The one time I find someone else, it wasn't to hurt you, it was for me. I needed someone and that someone is Beth. You can think whatever you want but me and you, this is it. We can take care of the kids but we're not together."

I wasn't sure where Beth had gone but I started lookin' for her.

While I was lookin', I was thinkin' about what had happened in her room.

Havin' her in my arms again and havin' hers around me after all this time was the best feelin' in the world.

I didn't think she would be in the barn where the walkers had been but sure enough, she was in there curled up on the floor.

"Hey, baby," I whispered as I sat down next to her and pulled her onto my lap.

"She's gonna tell everyone and then daddy's gonna make y'all leave," her voice sounded hoarse from cryin'.

"She's not going to tell anyone, Beth."

* * *

 **Beth** -

I didn't believe him.

Lori is going to tell everyone and then daddy and Maggie are gonna figure things out and then make them leave. Oh my God! Lori must know my baby is Rick's. Why else would she say that?

I wish everythin' would go back to the way it was before.

Before these people came here. Before Mama and Shawn and everyone else started getting sick. And before I met Rick.

* * *

 **Rick** -

"C'mon," I stood up then helped her get up.

We walked back to the house in silence.

I stayed in the livin' room while he went upstairs.

I'm sure Lori is goin' to tell Hershel and Beth's right, he'll make us leave.

I know I'd make us leave if I were him. I can only imagine what he's gonna say but whatever it is ain't gonna be good.

I was still in the livin' room when Maggie and Glenn pulled up with Hershel.

When he came inside, Maggie and Glenn didn't come with him.

He shook his head, "I thought I told you I wanted you gone?"

"You did but we're not leavin' like this. With you runnin' off to get drunk, someone has to be here. Your daughters need you. Probably more now than they ever have."

"No, they don't. Maggie's strong. She can take care of herself. And Beth, she needs her mother or rather to mourn. Like she should've done weeks ago," he shook his head again and sat down on the couch, "I robbed her of that. I see that now."

"You thought there was a cure. Can't blame yourself for holdin' out for hope."

"Hope. When I first saw you runnin' across my field with your boy in your arms, I had little hope he'd survive."

"But he did."

He nodded, "He did. Even though we lost Otis, your man Shane made it back and we saved your boy. That was the miracle that proved to me miracles do exist. Only it was a sham, a bait and switch. I was a fool, Rick, and you people saw that. My daughters deserve better than that."

"There's nothin' you could've done, Hershel. You believed it would get better. We all try to believe it will."

He stood up, walked over to the fireplace and took a photo off the mantle and stared at it.

"I didn't want to believe she was gone. I lost my first wife, I couldn't lose her too. I can't protect my family no matter how hard I try. I couldn't even protect them before this sickness."

He placed the picture back on the mantle and left the room without sayin' another word.

I watched as he walked out of the backdoor and down towards the graves of his wife and stepson.

When I was sure no one was around, I went over to the mantle and looked at the picture he had held.

It was a picture of his wife and Beth and Beth was holdin' a baby.

All I could do was stare at it with the words Lori had yelled at Beth bouncin' around in my head.

_"You deserved to see that just like you deserved to lose your baby!"_

Oh, shit. Beth had lost a baby. No wonder she was so upset over Lori.

Damn it, if Lori was willin' to throw that at Beth to hurt her, she will tell everyone about us.

* * *

 **Beth** -

I was standin' at my bedroom window when Rick came in.

"Hey, I want to talk to you about somethin'."

"Go ahead," I said without lookin' at him.

"I'm sorry about what Lori said before, about you losin' your baby. I'm sure that was hard for you. I don't know what I'd do if I lost Carl or Rebecca."

I huffed and turned to look at him, "You have no idea."

Really, he doesn't have any idea how hard it is to lose a child. He has two kids. And it hurts more knowin' I lost her by choice. She's out there somewhere.

"You doin' alright?" he asked, eyebrows furrowed.

"No," I refocused my attention to the window, "Lori's talkin' to daddy."

"What?"

He moved to stand behind me as we watched Lori. She kept pointin' her finger at daddy and it looked like she was yellin' at him.

"Oh God!" I cried out.

Maggie was runnin' towards Lori and daddy with almost everyone followin' her.

"Fuck," Rick mumbled, "stay here, baby."

"Rick, no!" I ran after him.

* * *

 **Rick** -

I made it out to where everyone had gathered in time to see Maggie slap Lori.

"Do not talk about my sister like that!" Maggie hissed.

"What the hell's goin' on?" I asked though I already knew the answer.

Shane smiled and busted out laughin'.

Hershel looked behind me, "Bethie, get back inside."

She just shook her head.

"Ask them," Lori said, "If you don't believe me, if you think your daughter is so damn perfect. Ask her. Ask Rick."

"I want you off my land," Hershel pointed at me, "I want all of you gone."

He started walkin' away while Maggie and Lori got into it.

"Hershel," I called out, "Hershel, stop."

He was a few feet away from the house when he finally stopped, me and Beth were followin' him.

"Hershel, I don't know what Lori said. But it's not what you think."

"Not what I think? I think you should have known better than to do what you did."

"Just calm down and hear me out."

"No. You people are like the plague. I do the Christian thing, give you shelter and you destroyed it all. And then you took advantage of my daughter, in my home!"

I rubbed my eyes. Lori didn't tell him about before. She told him about her walkin' in on us.

* * *


	6. Chapter 6

**Used**

**Chapter 6**

* * *

**Rick** -

"Daddy," Beth moved to stand in front of me, "Rick didn't take advantage of me. He didn't do anythin' to me."

Hershel looked between us for a moment before goin' inside, Beth and I followed him.

He paced the livin' room angrily for several minutes but stopped once the others started comin' inside.

Everyone stared and waited for Hershel to speak.

"I want all of you gone by in the morning. I don't care that it'll be dark soon. You all know how to take care of yourselves," he turned to look at me, "I can't have you in my house or on my property. I don't want you anywhere near my daughter."

I looked over to see Maggie leadin' a cryin' Beth upstairs.

"Hershel, I don't know what Lori told you exactly but I can assure you it wasn't like that."

He looked over to Lori, then turned back to me.

I rubbed my face and looked around the room at everyone watchin' me.

"I want you people gone," Hershel said again, "Now, if you will all show yourselves out, I need to speak with my daughter."

I let the screen door slam as I walked out of the house and towards the tents where Carl was playin' with Rebecca.

I picked her up and sat down next to Carl.

Looking up towards the farmhouse, I could see the window to Beth's bedroom and she was standin' there starin' out at us.

* * *

 **Beth** -

"Elizabeth, we need to have a talk," daddy said when he came into my room.

I didn't turn around, I just continued watching Rick play with his kids. His little girl. I shook my head at the thought that that could've been our little girl he was playin' with.

"Tell me the truth, Elizabeth. Did he touch you? Did he hurt you?"

"Yes, daddy," I said as I turned around to face him, "he did touch me and he did hurt me but not like Lori said, not like you think!"

I wanted nothin' more in that moment than to run outside and show Lori just what I had with Rick, show her that he loved me but of course I didn't. I turned back around and watched Rick who was now arguing with Lori, Shane and Dale.

"Elizabeth, tell me what happened," daddy demanded but I didn't say anythin'. I couldn't. There was absolutely nothin' I could say to make any of this right.

"Daddy," Maggie's voice drifted into my room from the hallway and daddy stepped out to talk to her.

"Let me or Patricia talk to her," Maggie whispered, "maybe she's scared and feels she can't tell you."

They were both silent for what seemed like an hour before daddy agreed and I heard him going down the stairs.

"Bethie," Maggie stepped into my room and closed the door, "I heard what you said to daddy."

"So?" I huffed.

She sighed and moved to stand next to me.

"You were with him before, weren't you? You don't have to tell me anythin' but I need somethin' to tell daddy."

"What does it matter, Maggie? No one's going to believe me."

"I'll believe you. I'm not blind, Beth. Daddy maybe, but I'm not. When Lori was out there yellin' at daddy, her tone wasn't that of a woman who just caught her husband raping someone. It was jealousy, pure and simple."

"What? She said he raped me?"

"Yeah, she did. I'm surprised daddy didn't kill him but I think he knows she was lyin'."

I shook my head. "It doesn't matter what I say. He's still going to make them leave."

* * *

 **Rick** -

"She's a child, Rick," Lori shouted.

"She was eighteen when I started seein' her."

"Yeah, well man, that makes her young enough to be your daughter," Shane added.

"Shut up!" Lori and I shouted at the same time.

"He has a point though," Lori added, "Why her? She's so young. Don't tell me you think she loves you or that she wants you. She's too damn young to know what she wants or what love is. Wasn't I enough for you?"

"Really, Lori? That's what the fuck you're askin'. It was never that you weren't enough for me. I loved you. The problem was that I wasn't enough for you! I know Shane wasn't the only guy you fucked while we were married."

"That's different, Rick! You were never home. You never...you quit touching me and lookin' at me."

"How the hell is that different?" I stepped back enough to notice that everyone was now gathered around watching us.

"I don't know, it just is! Maybe it's different because she's a child! I'm your wife, Rick!"

"Yes, Lori, you're my wife but that doesn't mean a God damn thing anymore. It hasn't meant anythin' in years!"

I rubbed my hands over my face then looked down at my wedding band and ' as I slipped it off.

"What are you doin'?" Lori asked.

"What the hell does it look like?"

I held out the ring. "We're done. We have two kids, Lori. You've been a part of my life for so long now, I'll always love you but I can't keep doin' this. You're free to fuck Shane or whoever else you want."

She took the ring from me and held it like you'd hold a snake, like it would strike any second.

I needed away from everyone, to clear my head.

* * *

 **Beth** -

I felt stupid for watchin' Rick fight with Lori but I couldn't make myself go out there. Not even when he started his car and drove off down the road.

I shouldn't have hid in my room like a scared little girl. I should've stood up and did what I needed to. I needed to let Rick, Lori and everyone else know that I love him but I didn't, I watched everythin' unfold without interfering.

I helped Patricia fix supper while daddy and Maggie argued in the livin' room. She was mostly tryin' to get him to let Glenn stay but daddy wasn't givin' in.

The four of us ate in silence and when we were done, daddy read from his Bible. I couldn't help but feelin' like he was directing his preachin' at me.

I couldn't listen to daddy preachin' any longer so I went outside and sat on the porch swing.

The sun was just beginning to set and even though Rick's group was out there, everythin' was quiet and peaceful.

"Hi," I said to Carl when he walked up holdin' his sister.

"Can I talk to you?" He asked.

"Yeah, of course."

He looked around. "Can we talk somewhere else? My mom doesn't want me talkin' to you."

"Sure," I stood up and lead him into the house and up the stairs to my room.

"What do you want to talk about?" I asked once the door was shut.

"I heard my dad tell my mom he loves you. Do you love him?"

"I'm sorry but that's really not somethin' I should discuss with you."

"Oh," he looked down, "I just thought that if you love my dad, you could make him happy. It's mine and Becca's fault he's not happy and I just wanna fix it."

"No, don't think that. It's not your fault or your sister's."

"Yes it is. He told mom the only reason he's still with her is 'cause of me and Becca."

"That doesn't mean anythin', Carl. From what I've seen, he loves you both so much."

He sat his sister down on the floor and looked up at me with tears in his eyes.

I sighed, "I love your dad."

"Good," he smiled, "You can tell him when he gets back."

"Carl!" Shane was outside callin' out for him.

"You better go," I told him, "if your mom doesn't want you talkin' to me then it would be best if they didn't see you in here, don't ya think?"

He nodded and hurried towards the door.

"Hey, Carl," I called after him, "come get your sister!"

It was too late. He was already out the front door before I reached the staircase. I stopped and went back to my room.

Rebecca was still sittin' in the same spot on the floor but now she was cryin'.

"Hey baby girl," I said as I picked her up and bounced her a little.

I felt tears threatening to fall as I held her. She reminded me so much of my baby girl.

She quit cryin' after a few minutes and grabbed a handful of my hair and giggled. I couldn't help but smile.

I sat down on my bed with her in my lap and tried to untangle my hair from her fists.

She bounced on my lap and clapped her hands together.

When I took her hands in mine to play pat-a-cake my fingers brushed over somethin' on her wrist.

I pulled her sleeve back and couldn't hold back the tears anymore.

_"Lori and I are over," Rick told me, "Have been for a long time. And as for Rebecca, we adopted her. We love her, yes, but we adopted her in an attempt to save our marriage. It didn't work. I don't love her and she doesn't love me."_

Those words kept replaying in my mind.

* * *

 **Rick** -

I didn't get very far after leavin' the farm before I pulled the car over.

I didn't want to go too far but I had to go somewhere. I don't think I can be around Lori after this and if it wasn't for the kids and Beth, I wouldn't have even stopped here. I would've kept goin' until I couldn't anymore.

My eyes were closed but I saw the headlights approaching. My first thought was that Hershel had made everyone leave but when the car pulled up beside me and Lori got out, I knew there was no way to escape her.

I laughed to myself. This is just fuckin' perfect. I loved Lori, things went to hell between us and then I found someone else, I fell in love with Beth but now, now I can't see why the hell I ever thought we could work things out.

If Beth hadn't left that night, would she be the one I'm fighting with now or would we be happy?

Lori knocked on the window, "Rick?"

I hated to but I opened the door and stepped out.

"I'm sorry, Rick," she put her hand on my chest, "things don't have to be this way. We can work them out. I love you."

I pushed her hand away. "There's nothin' to work out, Lori. Can't you see that? There's no fixin' this, no makin' up this time. We just need to move on."

She huffed and crossed her arms and started pacing.

"Can you at least come back and talk to Hershel? We can't leave his farm. It's safe there. You can do that much for Carl and Rebecca."

I got in the car without sayin' anythin' else to her and left her standin' there.

It was just a few seconds after I pulled up at the tents that Carl came runnin' towards me.

"Dad!" He yelled out.

I instinctively reached for my gun, thinkin' somethin' had happened.

"What happened, Carl?"

"Nothin'," he shook his head, "she loves you."

"What?"

"Beth. Please don't tell mom but I talked to her. If you're not happy, you don't have to stay with mom just 'cause y'all have me and Becca."

"That's not up to me, Carl." I let out a shaky breath. "Where's your sister?"

"She's with Beth. Everyone else was busy and mom left so I..."

"Go get ready for bed," I told him as I started walkin' towards the house.

I didn't stop to knock or when Hershel called out my name. I went straight up the stairs to Beth's room.

I opened the door and stepped in. She was sittin' on her bed with Rebecca, holdin' her to her chest while she cried.

Beth had the saddest look in her eyes when she looked up at me and when I tried to take Rebecca from her, she held her tighter.

"No," she whispered but loosened her grip and let me take Rebecca from her.

She had lost her own little girl so it didn't surprise me she was reacting this way.

I tried to get her to talk to me before I went downstairs to talk to Hershel but she wouldn't really say anythin'.

"Don't you see it?" She mumbled before she ran to the bathroom and slammed the door.

"Rick," Hershel was standin' at the bottom of the stairs, "now that we've all had time to calm down and think about this situation, I think we need to have a talk."

I agreed and followed him into the livin' room.

"I'm going to make this short," he said, "I talked to Bethie and Maggie talked to her. I have no reason to believe you did the things your wife claimed you did to my daughter. I was wrong, I admit that but I need you to be honest with me. Is there somethin' between you and my daughter?"

I started to speak but he held up his hand to stop me.

"Let me finish," he said, "if there is or was, whichever, it may go against my better judgment but I can't bear to see my Bethie hurting. You and your people can stay but you will abide by my rules. Do you understand?"

"Yes, sir."

Before I could answer his previous question, he had already turned the lights out and had started up the stairs.

"Show yourself out," he said.

I sat down just as Rebecca started cryin'.

What the hell just happened? This was way too easy.

"Shh," I whispered, tryin' to get Rebecca to settle down.

I sat there in the dark with her for a few minutes before the headlights of Lori's car caught the pictures on the wall across from me as she pulled up.

I turned the light back on and walked over to the wall.

Rebecca was resting her head on my shoulder while I looked at the pictures. God only knows how long I stood there starin' at them. It was obvious which ones were Beth. Though the few pictures of her little girl looked a lot like her.

There was a pink frame with several pictures in it. I smiled as I looked them over. There was one of Beth when she was pregnant, an ultrasound, Beth holdin' her little girl, some with the other Greene's holdin' her and then one of just her.

The picture of Beth's daughter by herself caught my eye.

She was so small and the bracelet on her wrist made her look even smaller.

I moved a little closer to get a better look. There was somethin' familiar about the picture.

It finally clicked when Rebecca started fussin' again.

I felt the blood drain from my body as I looked down at her and rubbed my eyes.

Beth's words from earlier seemed to drown out Rebecca's cries.

_"Don't you see it?" She had asked._

My legs felt like lead as I climb the stairs to her room. Then they felt like they'd disappear out from under me when I walked into her room.

She was sittin' on her bed, in the same spot she had been earlier, and she was cryin' again.

* * *

 **Beth** -

I knew the moment Rick stepped into my room that he had figured it out too. His face was pale, his eyes were wide and he looked like he hadn't slept in weeks.

"You...you were pregnant that...," Rick stumbled over his words.

I simply nodded.

"And she...," he looked down at Rebecca and I nodded again.

He came closer and handed her to me before droppin' to his knees in front of us.

I held Rebecca with one arm and moved my fingers over her bracelet.

"My mama gave this to me when she found out I was havin' a girl," I managed to say.

"She's...she's mine...ours?" He breathed out, almost as if his chest was about to cave in on his lungs. "Are...how...," he rubbed his face with both hands.

When he looked up at me, he had tears in his eyes but let out a small chuckle.

If I hadn't found the whole situation slightly amusing too, I probably would have gotten mad but I couldn't.

After all this time, the months I've spent wishing everythin' was different, all these weeks they've been here at the farm, my baby girl was right here this whole time.

Rick laid his head in my lap and I ran the fingers of my free hand through his hair.

"Everythin' happens for a reason," Maggie said from the doorway.


	7. Chapter 7

**Used**

**Chapter 7**

* * *

**Beth** -

Rick and I both looked up at Maggie as she walked in and closed the door behind her.

"Wh...what?" I stuttered.

"I said, everythin' happens for a reason," she said, takin' a few steps closer to us. "I may understand that everythin' happens for a reason but daddy won't be so understanding. Do you know what this will do to him? To know that the child you gave up was fathered by a married man? Do you know how much that would've hurt your mama, too? Their first grandchild was the product of your adultery."

"Maggie, please don't start this."

"I'm not starting anythin', Bethie. I don't care either way but you know daddy will. It took him a while to accept that you had gotten pregnant and it wasn't until he held her that he actually got over it. It's gonna break his heart to know this. And you," she turned to Rick, "don't be surprised if he tries to kill you but he'll expect an explanation first. Hell, so do I."

Rick stood up and took a step towards her. "Maggie, I never meant..."

"Save it, Rick," she held up her hands, "I'm not mad. I knew there was somethin' between you and my sister when she first saw you, I just didn't know what."

Rebecca started fussin' in my arms, catching Maggie's attention.

She looked at me with tears in her eyes. "So, she's my niece?"

Rick nodded and moved out of her way so she could take Rebecca. Maggie held her for a while before she passed her back to me.

"Daddy isn't goin' to like any of this, Bethie," she turned to Rick, "and neither is your wife. I suggest y'all figure this out quick."

"Maggie, please don't say anythin' to daddy."

"I won't tell anyone," she said, "But, as much as I think the two of you should just keep this to yourselves, this isn't somethin' you can hide. At least not for very long."

I nodded and when she left, I closed my eyes and held onto Rebecca.

"Beth," Rick put his hand on my cheek, "I need...I have to carry her out to Lori or she'll come in here lookin' for her."

"You don't have to carry her out there right now. Please let me have a few minutes with her," I begged.

* * *

**Rick** -

I agreed to let Beth spend a few minutes with Rebecca. After everythin' that's happened I couldn't really deny her that. Seein' Rebecca in her arms seemed right, like it was supposed to be.

Beth rocked Rebecca until she fell asleep then she laid her down on the bed and she laid down beside her.

Once Beth was asleep, I sat there watchin' them. I made too may God damn mistakes with them and as I picked Rebecca up I knew I was makin' another one.

Rebecca belongs with Beth but I can't do that to Lori. Despite everythin', she does love her and Carl.

"Where the hell have you been with my daughter?" Lori all but shouted once I reached the tent.

"We were visitin' Beth." I saw no need in lyin' to her, not when I had already decided to tell her about Rebecca.

"What?" She screamed.

"Lori, calm down before you wake everyone up."

"Screw them! You carried my daughter with you to see her!"

"I didn't carry her to see Beth. She was already in there when I got back."

"Right, like I'm going to believe that."

I shook my head. "Don't try to act like you're pissed and worried. If you had actually been worried about where she was you would've gone lookin' for her the moment you saw she wasn't in the tent. You didn't even notice, did you?"

"I noticed," she said and crossed her arms, "I'm tired of fighting, Rick. I give up. If you want to be with her and she wants to be with you, go ahead. I'm done."

I started laughin'. "How stupid do you think I am, Lori? We've been married for a long time. I know when you're lyin'."

"I'm not lyin', Rick. I mean it, I'm done," she looked down and shook her head, "I should've known something like this would happen. I knew there was someone else. You may not have been with her after we got back together but she was the one you wanted. I see that now."

I stepped back and held Rebecca a little tighter.

What the hell had gotten into Lori? What kind of game was she playin'?

* * *

**Beth** -

I had woken up the moment Rick had take Rebecca out of my arms but I didn't try to stop him. I had given her up. She belonged to him and Lori, not me so there wasn't anythin' I could do.

I sat down on my window sill and watched him walk out to the tents with our daughter. He talked to Lori for awhile before she took Rebecca from him and he followed them into the tent.

This is what my life has come to. Wishing I had done things differently, wanting a man I can't have and worse, wanting a family with him.

I rested my head against the window and sat there starin' into the darkness, waiting for the sun to rise. Maybe then I'll have a little more faith.

The sunrise wasn't as beautiful as it used to be. It was the same but somehow it was different. Probably because the days no longer held the good they once had. Daddy would no doubt throw a Bible at me if he knew what I was thinkin'.

Maggie came to my room a little after sun up to get me to help Patricia with gathering eggs and milking the cows. I was more than happy to do so.

"Beth?" I looked over my shoulder to see Rick standin' there with Rebecca. "Do you want to keep her for a little while?" He asked.

I shook my head and turned back to my chores. "I'm busy, Rick. Find someone else to keep her."

Over the next few days Rick kept bringing Rebecca to see me despite me askin' him not to. Every time he did though, as much as I wanted to just hold her and keep her, I knew I couldn't so I would just walk away. Much like I had done earlier before runnin' down here to the pond to be alone.

I heard footsteps comin' up behind me then Maggie sat down next to me.

"You have two choices, Bethie. You can either tell me what's goin' on and we can work on it together or we can go back to the house and have a talk with daddy and he'll make Rick leave you alone. What's it gonna be?"

Shakin' my head, I started laughin'.

"Mags, it's not Rick. It's me. I want Rick and I want Rebecca but they're not mine. I can't be with them."

"Yes, you can. Why do you think Rick is bringing her around. He loves you and he loves knowin' that you're Rebecca's mother and wants you to spend time with her. I'm not sure but I think Lori gave him an out. Somethin' about she was done, I don't know."

"Maggie, please leave it alone. I gave Rebecca up. She doesn't need to know I didn't want her."

"You didn't want her?" Maggie scoffed, "I know you wanted her. You still want her. Think about it, Bethie."

She stood up and walked away.

It wasn't long after she left that Lori showed up and sat down quietly.

Her quietness unnerved me. I half expected her to yell at me or hit me. Just somethin' other than stare into space and complete silence.

* * *

**Lori** -

In all honesty, I wasn't quite sure what to say to the girl. Part of me wanted to hurt her but the other part understood her side of things.

I smiled and looked over at her.

"It's not our fault we're both in love with the same man," I told her.

She scoffed and stood up. "We are NOT in love with the same man. I love Rick, not Shane."

"Beth, please wait," I called out as she walked away.

I followed her and watched as Maggie and Rick stopped her.

Rick placed a hand on her shoulder, then moved it to her cheek. Beth leaned into his touch for a moment until he tried to hand her Rebecca then she ran off.

I rolled my eyes and laughed to myself. He's tryin' desperately to make our kids her family. I don't care how much she loves him or he loves her, Carl and Rebecca are my kids. They're our family.

"Might as well just let him go," Shane said from behind me. "You have me, Lori. You don't need him."

"You don't know what I need."

I walked off in search of Beth, again.

When I walked into the house I heard someone talking in the kitchen. I listened for a bit before walking in and finding Patricia and Andrea fixing lunch.

Patricia quickly picked up a tray and turned away from me and faced Andrea.

"I'm going to carry this to Beth. Can you make sure the others get plates," she asked.

"Yeah," Andrea shrugged.

"Patricia, I'll carry that to her," I said. She looked at me with a slightly panicked look.

"I don't think that's a good idea," she said.

I waited to leave until she came back to the kitchen.

Beth may not want to see or speak to me but we couldn't keep avoiding the situation.

I knocked and went inside without waiting. Beth was sitting up in bed crying. I felt bad for her but I wasn't sure what I should say.

"Come on, let's go take a walk," I said.

She stared up at me as if I had lost my mind and shook her head.

"Beth," I sat down next to her on the bed, "you need to hear me out. Rick and I have been together for a long time. I've tried to let him go and I'm going to try harder but I love him. You have to understand that we have a family together."

She continued to stare at me and shook her head again.

"Do you think I'm stupid, Lori? I can see right through you. I may not know everythin' but if there's one thing I do know, I'd rather have nothin' than to hold onto somethin' that just don't exist. I'd rather be lonely than try to force someone to love me."

I tried my best to bite my tongue and to not slap her.

"I don't think you're stupid, Beth," I managed, "but the way you talk sure makes you sound that way. You're a little girl, a child. You don't know a damn thing about love or life."

* * *

**Rick** -

After lunch, Patricia came out of the house and asked me to keep Lori away from Beth. They had a talk and from the sounds of it, Lori had upset Beth. I didn't doubt it. I was waiting for her to pull a stunt like this, to push Beth away but this is only the beginning.

Lori took Carl to the RV to study while Carol watched Rebecca. I took that as my chance to find Maggie so we could talk to Beth.

We both agree that she should be in Rebecca's life. Becca needs to know her real mother and we want to explain that to Beth.

"Rick," Maggie motioned for me to follow her through the house to Beth's room.

Her bedroom door was open but she wasn't in the bedroom.

Maggie went over to the bathroom door and raised her hand to knock when we heard the sound of glass breaking.

"Beth," Maggie shrieked and pounded on the bathroom door, "Beth, open the door!"

"Beth, open the door," I pleaded while Maggie searched for the key. When she found it she rushed over to unlock the door.

"Oh my God, Bethie," Maggie pulled her into a hug when she saw her wrist and led her to the bed. "I'm not mad," she whispered."

I sat there quietly until her wrist was bandaged and the room had cleared.

"What the hell were you tryin' to do, Beth?" I asked as I sat down next to her.

She turned away from me. "You wouldn't understand."

I reached up and cupped her face in both hands. "Try me."

Beth shook her head and started cryin'. She didn't say anythin' the rest of the night but I refused to leave her side, even when Hershel came to check on her.

The next mornin' Maggie brought her breakfast and sat with her so I could talk to Hershel.

This wasn't going to be easy but I prayed he'd understand.

I found Hershel right where Maggie said he'd be, in the dining room reading his Bible.

"It's the only thing that has remains the same," he said, looking up from the book, "my faith hasn't changed since this started but I see Beth's has. She used to be so full of hope and she had faith. She always saw the good in people but she's lost all of that since your group showed up here."

I pulled out a chair on the opposite side of the table and sat down.

"All of that, it's not because we're here," I said, "it's harder on her now because she has to try harder to hide everythin' from you. But what she did yesterday, we can't give up on her because of it. That's why I came in here, to tell you that I'm not leavin' her side. I don't care if you disapprove of me stayin' with her, it's gonna happen regardless."

I gave him time to process what I was sayin' so I stood and went into the livin' room.

When I came back, I sat the picture of Beth and Becca on the table in front of Hershel and took the picture I had of Becca out of my wallet and placed it next to the frame.

Hershel's hands clenched into fists as he stared at the pictures, then he stood and walked out of the room, I didn't follow him because I was sure he went to speak with her but then I heard the screen door shut.

Hershel had a hold of Beth's arm, leading her out to where our tents were set up, with Maggie following closely behind them.

"Lori," he shouted. She came out of the RV with Rebecca on her hip and the others followed.

I made it to them in time to hear him tell Beth to tell the truth.

Beth looked back at me with tears in her eyes and mouthed "I'm sorry". I nodded and stepped up behind her, putting a hand on her back as she turned to face Lori.

"Rebecca's mine," she said barely above a whisper.

Lori laughed, "What?"

"Rebecca is mine," she said a little louder, "she's mine."

Lori's face dropped and she passed Rebecca over to Carol.

"You stole my husband and now you're trying to take my daughter. You're sick! You can't just take what you want, when you want it," she shouted at Beth.

"I'm not tryin' to take her, Lori. She's mine," Beth cried, "I gave her up because I was ashamed of what I had done with Rick."

"Are you saying Rick is her father?" Lori asked in disbelief.

Beth nodded. "I never wanted to give either of them up but I had to. It didn't matter how much I loved them."

Lori huffed and tried to storm off but Carol and Andrea stopped her.

She held up her hand when Carol tried to hand Rebecca to her. "Just keep...keep her away from me," she told her and pushed passed them.

I started to move to get Rebecca but Hershel stepped forward and took her in his arms.

"Rick," he turned to me, "get her things and bring them inside to Beth's room where they belong. Get your things and your boys as well."

 


	8. Chapter 8

** Used **

** Chapter 8 **

* * *

**Beth** -

Daddy had let Rick move his and Carl's things into the house. They stayed in my room the first night but the following day Maggie moved Carl into Shawn's room, much to daddy's dismay. But, to my surprise, he didn't say a word about it. He was too caught up with spendin' time with Rebecca.

Since daddy had Rick move Rebecca's things into my room, he almost always had her. Just like he did now as I watched them from the stairs.

Daddy had Rebecca in his lap, showing her pictures and reading to her. He looked up and smiled at me so I got up and sat next to him and Rebecca on the couch. He let her crawl over into my lap and smiled again.

"Daddy, are you okay with all of this?" I asked.

"Well," he began, "I wouldn't say I'm okay with it but I accept it. She's part of this family and since Rick is her father, he is too and so is Carl."

"Thank you, Daddy." I smiled and hugged him. "Do you mind watching her for a little bit while I feed the horses?"

"Not at all. Just be careful."

"Yes sir," I said and hurried out to the barn. I wanted to get my chores finished as quick as I can. Daddy may be fine with keepin' Rebecca but she's my responsibility now. I can't push her off on someone else.

Was I happy about the situation? No. But really, what could I do about it now? Everyone knew the big secret and, as expected, everyone had an opinion. Some more than others, especially Lori who would turn away from me whenever I tried to talk to her. All I wanted was to apologize, to let her know that I never meant for any of this to happen.

I finished my chores in no time and headed back to the house.

When I walked in I heard Daddy and Rick talkin' in the dining room but I continued up the stairs to wash off.

I sat down on my bed and groaned as I looked over to see Rebecca asleep in her bed.

"What's the matter?" Maggie asked, steppin' into my room.

I shrugged. "None of this feels right. Havin' Rick and Rebecca her, it's not supposed to be that way. I don't want either of them."

Maggie rolled her eyes and sat down next to me. "I thought you were doin' so much better. You love them, I know you do. You just need to let yourself see that, feel it. Rick loves you and Daddy loves that little girl. I think he's forgotten about everythin' else."

I stood up to walk out of the room when Maggie grabbed my arm.

"Maggie, please let go."

"No, Beth. You tried to kill yourself just a few days ago and now...now you're depressed or somethin'. You do not need to be alone."

"I'm fine. Now let go of me."

"No. I'm your sister and I'm here for you. You need to talk."

"What am I supposed to say, Maggie? No one has asked me what I wanted. Why do you think I gave her up? I don't want any of this."

"I'll carry her back outside to Lori and move our things out there, too."

Maggie and I both turned towards the door to see Rick standin' there lookin' like he'd just been hit with a ton if bricks.

I hurried past him and out of the front door.

Why couldn't I be happy? I had Rick and my...our baby with me and I didn't want it. I didn't want them.

* * *

 **Rick** -

"She didn't mean it, Rick. She loves you and she loves Rebecca," Maggie tried to assure me.

"Yeah, she meant it. I should've known. She tried to tell me she didn't want this and I kept pushin' her when I shouldn't have."

"No, Rick. She's just confused and overwhelmed. And depressed."

"I think we're all confused, overwhelmed and depressed," I said, not meaning to sound angry.

Maggie walked over to the door and shut it.

"Rick, it's worse for her," she started, "she was diagnosed with postpartum depression. Daddy doesn't know because she hasn't told him."

"Postpartum depression?" I was a little shocked that no one had mentioned that until now.

"Yeah. I was with Beth when her doctor diagnosed her with it. It's the only secret she's ever asked me to keep. She's kept so many of mine that I felt I owed her that one thing. I never told mama or Shawn and if daddy knows, he hasn't said anythin'. But she's...she gave Rebecca up and a few weeks after that is when I noticed she wasn't herself."

"What can I do to help her?"

"Just be there for her. I don't know why, it could be because she has Rebecca back, but she's going back to how she was. She was getting better but then..."

"But then we showed up?"

Maggie gave me a quick nod, "Yeah."

"I'm gonna go try to find her and talk to her if she'll let me."

"There's a tree out back, near the garden, it has a wood swing on it. She's probably there," Maggie told me as I was walkin' out of the room.

* * *

 **Beth** -

Rebecca smiled and giggled when a butterfly landed on her shoe.

I had her sittin' in my lap in Mama's flower garden which was almost overgrown and looked nothin' like it had. Mama would've loved Rebecca and Maggie's right, she would've been disappointed in me.

"I don't deserve you," I whispered to Rebecca and kissed the top of her head.

"Yes, you do."

Rick sat down next to me and Rebecca crawled over into his lap.

"Don't ever think you don't deserve her," he said. "I talked to Maggie, she told me about you having postpartum depression."

"So?"

"So, what we did last night, we shouldn't have. At least not until your better."

I started laughin'. "I...last night was the first time I've felt like myself in a long time. It has nothin' to do with what's wrong with me. I do want you, Rick. I want Rebecca, too but I don't know how to make this work and it scares me."

It was his turn to laugh. "It scares me, too. And I don't know how to make this work but I think we can. It's not goin' to be easy but we'll work it out. You, me, our daughter and my son. We're a family now, Beth."

I leaned over and laid my head on his shoulder as Rebecca crawled back into my lap. Rick took my hand and laced our fingers together.

"Whatever happens, I want you to know I love you, Beth. Before this shit happened, I shouldn't have gone back to Lori. I should've gone after you."

"She's still your wife, Rick. There's no way she's goin' to be okay with any of these, even if she says she is."

I felt like we were just goin' in circles. Lori's never goin' to be okay with Rick and I bein' together. She'll never be okay with Rebecca bein' our daughter and she'll never let him go.

Rick took Rebecca from me and stood up, holdin' his hand out for me. I took his hand and let him pull me up then took Rebecca back into my arms as we walked back to the house.

After that, Maggie stayed close to me and helped with Rebecca. Everythin' went by as normal as it could for the rest of the day.

When it started getting dark, Maggie came into my room before I put Rebecca down.

"I'll take her for the night," she said with a smile and whispered to Rebecca, "I think mommy and daddy need some alone time."

I didn't argue with her. Daddy's been keepin' her as much as he could and I knew Maggie wanted to keep her too.

It was just a few minutes after I had laid down when Rick came into the room.

I rolled over and faced Rick when he pulled the covers back and laid down.

"You really love me?" I whispered as he put his arm around my waist.

He leaned in and kissed me, "I do."

"I love you too, Rick," I said and kissed him back. My eyes closed as he kissed down my neck and slid his hand under the front of my shirt.

The next mornin' I woke up alone but I couldn't help but smile. This was the first time any of this actually felt right.

* * *


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *There is a bit of a time jump from the last chapter.
> 
> *Flashbacks are in Italics.

**Used**

**Chapter 9**

* * *

**Beth** -

I leaned back on my hands, feeling the cool grass beneath my fingers as Carol sat on one side of me holdin' Rebecca and Carl sat on the other side.

The fire burning in front of us kept us warm but not as warm as our house had been and every time I looked at it, I'm reminded of the farm and how we watched it go up in flames.

"Does he move a lot?" Carl asked, breaking the silence and puttin' his hand on my stomach.

I shook my head and smiled. "Yeah, sometimes."

"Carl," Lori called out from across the fire. "Quit botherin' Beth."

"I don't mind," I told her as I tried to stand up on my own but ended up gettin' help from Carl.

Carol stood up as well and handed a sleepin' Rebecca to me as we both looked to Lori.

"It's fine. She can stay with you and Rick tonight," she said.

"Thank you," I smiled and took the few steps to our tent.

After I made sure Rebecca was tucked in, I laid down under our sleepin' bag and closed my eyes, tryin' to sleep but I couldn't.

So many things have changed in the last few months. We lost the farm exactly five months ago, I know I shouldn't be keepin' track of the days but I have.

I can't help but remember the day it happened and I can't help but feel partially responsible.

* * *

_"What the hell is this?" Lori asked, grabbing my arm and makin' me turn around to face her._

_She had followed me out to the pasture when I went to get Nellie._

_"What does it look like?!"_

_Lori huffed. "You're pregnant. Does Rick know?"_

_"Not that it's any of your business but yes, I am pregnant and yes, Rick knows. He's the one who asked Glenn to get me the test."_

_"He's still my husband, so that makes it my business. And you should know, I'm pregnant too. I've already told both Rick and Shane."_

_"I know you are. You're a lot further along than I am. I'm only about a month along, give or take a few days but you, you're what four maybe five months by now? Doesn't mean Rick is the father. From what I've heard, you were sleepin' with Shane before Rick came back and the two of you were only together that one night. You chose Shane."_

* * *

"Hey," Rick whispered as he laid down next to me and placed his hand on my stomach. "You feelin' alright?"

"Mhmm," I mumbled.

"What're you thinkin' about?" He asked, pushing my shirt up and rubbin' his hand over my bare stomach.

"The farm and everythin' that happened that night. I really didn't mean for things to happen the way they did."

"It's not your fault. Lori attacked you."

"I almost killed her, Rick."

"But you didn't. It was self defense. Shane and I saw the whole thing."

* * *

_"I really hate to do this but he's my husband," Lori said as she raised a gun._

_My heart beat quickened and I started to panic until I remembered the knife Rick had made me start carrying and my hand went to it._

_"You can't shoot me." I meant to say it louder than I did but she still heard me._

_"Who said I was going to shoot you? I just want to make it clear that Rick is mine, Rebecca is mine and so is Carl. They're my family not yours."_

_I nodded. "I'm not goin' to fight you over that," I told her and tried to walk away._

_She grabbed my arm again and shoved me with enough force that I landed on the ground._

_There was a sharp throbbing pain in my head and my vision was blurry but it didn't take me very long to realize Lori was standin' over me._

_She held her hand out to help me up but once I was, my hand went back to my knife and I pulled it out._

_"Leave me alone," I told her as forcefully as I could even though my hands were visibly shakin'._

_I heard Rick's voice shouting and then Lori was on top of me and I felt the warmth of her blood on my hand._

_"Lori?" Shane's voice called out as Lori was lifted off of me and Rick pulled me up off the ground._

_Shane was holdin' Lori in his arms, my knife stickin' out of her stomach, when we heard the moans._

* * *

**Rick** -

Everyone is walkin' on eggshells in our camp. Beth is six months pregnant and Lori is around nine months and after what went down on the farm, we never leave them alone together.

Lori's made it clear she doesn't like Beth and she hates that Carl stays with us. She still sees Rebecca as hers and Beth, not wantin' to cause any problems, plays along with whatever little fantasy Lori's cooked up in her head.

I know it isn't fair to Beth to make her sleep a few feet away from the woman who tried to kill her and, even though that's exactly what happened, Lori still denies that's what she was doin'.

Beth is the one who convinced us to let Lori stay with us. She didn't think it was right to make a pregnant woman fend for herself in this world, especially if that's my child she's carrying, which we all doubt it is. The baby Beth's carrying though, there's not a single doubt in my mind that baby is mine and everyone knows it is.

Shane left a few nights after the farm fell because he felt Lori had finally lost it and he wasn't willin' to let her string him along anymore.

I rubbed Beth's belly 'til she fell asleep and just as I was drifting off, I heard Daryl's call outside the tent.

"Hey, got somethin' ya need ta see," he said when I crawled out of the tent.

"Beth's asleep. I'm not leavin' her alone."

"I'll watch her," T-dog volunteered.

"Don't let Lori near her, not even to get Becca," I said, to which he nodded and sat down outside the tent opening.

I followed Daryl silently through the woods 'til we came to a break in the trees.

"Think we can take it?" He asked.

Lookin' at the prison before us, I smiled. "We're sure as hell goin' to try."

The next mornin', as soon as everyone was awake, Daryl and I told the others about the prison and then we packed up.

* * *

**Beth** -

The prison was massive and I wasn't sure we'd be able to get inside the way Rick and Daryl planned but they were both excited about it and after the yard surrounding the prison had been cleared, we all shared in the excitement.

T-dog and Glenn got a fire goin' while Carol and Maggie cleaned and cooked a few squirrels Daryl had caught. Daddy and Carl sat between me and Lori, I had Rebecca and was playin' with her. Rick and Daryl were walkin' the fences and makin' plans to get inside.

Carol passed the food around once it was cooked and fixed plates for those on watch.

With Maggie's help, I stood up and took a plate from her to carry to Daryl.

"Sit down," she muttered. "I'll carry his plate to him."

I looked back to where I had been sittin' then looked back to Carol. "No, please let me carry that to him. She keeps watchin' me," I whispered.

Carol sighed. "Fine but if Rick asks, I said no."

I smiled and took the plate.

When I reached the bus, I knew I wouldn't be able to climb up so I whistled up at Daryl and waited for him to climb down.

"Rick know you're over 'ere?" He asked.

"I'm guessin' he does but I couldn't sit there anymore."

"Lil' Shane givin' ya the evil eye?"

"That's not funny, Daryl."

We both looked over at the others to see Lori picking up Rebecca and scooting closer to where Rick was now seated.

"Ya better watch it. She's hell bent on takin' what's hers," Daryl mumbled around a mouth full of food.

"Can we change the subject? Are you ever goin' to tell me about you and Andrea?"

His face turned red and looked down and started pickin' at the food on his plate.

"Ain't none of yer business."

"None of business? I caught you both with your pants down and I don't even get the full story?"

He shrugged. "She's gone now. Don't matter none."

"I'll get it out of you one day," I said with a smile before walkin' back to the others.

Rick had moved and was now holdin' Rebecca as I sat down next to him.

"Here," he said, handin' me his plate. "I won't take no for an answer."

I tried to eat a few more bites before handin' the rest back to Rick.

"Eat it."

"I'm full, Rick. If I eat anymore I'll just throw up."

He stared at me for a moment then looked around. "Give it to Carl then."

* * *

**Lori** -

Everyone thinks I'm crazy but I'm not.

I didn't try to kill Beth, I just wanted her to stay away from my family. She's the one who stabbed me, almost killing myself and my baby, and yet they're treating me as if I have the plague or somethin'.

It's not easy to watch your husband with the girl he cheated on you with. She's just a girl, not woman.

It's not easy to watch my children sit next to her and smile at her.

It's not easy to watch her lay her head on my husband's shoulder and him put his arm around her.

And it sure as hell isn't easy knowing she's carrying his child.

I'm not going to hurt her or anything. If I wanted to, I could have done it already but I don't want to and none of them seem to understand that. I just wanted her to leave my family alone.

What right does she have to take them away?

"I'm not jealous," I whispered to myself as Rick, Carl, Maggie and Hershel reached over to feel Beth's baby kick.

I decided a few weeks ago that after the baby is born, I'm leaving.

They all want me to leave anyway and the baby, well, I figure they'll be able to take care of it.

I doubt I'll be allowed to leave with Carl and Rebecca but they're better off with them than with me.

* * *

**Rick** -

Beth groaned and tugged on my hand as I laid the sleepin' bag over her.

"Somethin' wrong?"

"No. Just want you next to me."

I chuckled and kissed her forehead. "I'm not goin' anywhere, baby."

I stayed next to her, watchin' her, Rebecca and Carl sleep for a while before I woke Maggie up to watch them while I went to talk to Lori who was pacing, Hershel said she was tryin' to induce labor.

"We need to talk," I said.

"Not now," she replied.

"Lori," I grabbed her arm to stop her. "We have to talk about this. What you did, that's not you. What happened to you?"

"I'm a crazy, manipulative bitch. That's what Shane called me, that's what I've heard the others calling me."

"Doesn't answer my question."

"I don't know what happened, okay? I just hate seein' you with her. And I wasn't tryin' to kill her..."

"Shane saw you pointing the gun at her, I saw you pointing the gun at her."

"Yes, I did that but I wasn't tryin' to kill her! I wouldn't do that, I'm not that crazy. I just wanted her to stay away from you, Carl and Rebecca. And...and when I found out about her bein' pregnant, I kinda lost it for a little bit. I'm not goin' to hurt her or that baby," she said while rubbin' her stomach, "I couldn't do that and honestly, it's not even worth the fight anymore. We can't get divorced now but this is the end for us. I get that, Rick."

"Do you?" I asked. "Because we do have kids together and I don't want them to see us fighting. None of us...me, you, beth...we all need to get along now. She's part of our family."

"I really do. I know she is. I'm glad she's here because Carl is actually actin' like a kid now. He wanted a gun before but now he's actin' like a kid again, Rick, and it's because of her. Do you really think I'd hurt my son or daughter like that?"

"No," I shook my head. I wasn't sure what to say after that, I didn't know if I believed what she was sayin'. I wanted to, though. I needed to believe it, for Beth's sake and the baby's.

* * *

**Beth** -

I woke up sometime after Rick left and couldn't go back to sleep so I sat up and stared at the prison.

I kept starin' at it even after I heard Rick's voice gettin' closer to me. He was sayin' somethin' about goin' inside when I felt his hand on my back.

"Beth, you alright?"

I slowly turned my head towards him and gave him a small smile. "Yeah. Just worried."

He kept his hand on my back and leaned in and kissed me.

"There's nothin' to worry about. Everythin's gonna be fine."

I glanced behind him and saw Lori walkin' towards us and even though I wasn't scared of her, I tensed up and that caused Rick to look back at her.

"Can I have a moment alone with Beth?" She asked.

Rick scowled at her and stood, pullin' me up with him.

"I'm not scared of her," I whispered.

He looked at me then back to her. "I'm not goin' far."

Lori raised her hands in surrender. "That's fine. It's just a little girl talk is all. I swear."

We both watched Rick walk a few feet away and then turned to face us, watchin' us.

"Walk with me?" Lori asked.

"Umm...," I looked over at Rick.

"I don't mean go walk around, I meant just keep walkin' right here. Back and forth."

"Oh...uh...yeah. Sure."

We stared walkin' back and forth, side by side, and had been doin' that for at least three minutes before she finally spoke.

"I'm sorry, Beth. Things can't be like that between us. We need each other to make this work."

I glanced at her. "We need each other?!" I stopped walkin' and when she noticed, she did the same. "We do not need each other, sure we both need to move on from everythin' that's happened so there won't be any problems, but we don't need each other Lori. You're goin' to be a mother, same as me, but the difference is, I'm not playin' a game. I love Rick and he loves me. You love Shane but you lost him because you don't know when to let go. You can have that baby and claim it's Ricks all you want but we both know it's not, that baby is Shane's."

"Beth, I'm tryin' to make this work. I do love Rick, he's the father of my children and if I hate him, that's sayin' I hate a part of my kids and I don't. They're my world. So, you should know, if you hurt any of them or Rick, no one will be there to stop me from pullin' the trigger."

"And next time I'll be sure to aim my knife a little higher."

It took us both a moment to realize that everyone was watchin' us and had moved closer, just as we had to each other, then Rick was pullin me away from her.

"You're the reason Shane's gone," she said.

"Me? He left because he hated you! He hated all if your sick, twisted games!"

"That's enough!" Daddy shouted, causing us to look at him. "I will not tolerate this kind of hatred and behavior! What's done is done and if either of you know what's good for you you'd shut up. Those babies and those two kids," he pointed to Carl which as holdin' Rebecca and sittin' next to Maggie, "they are my main concern. Bethie, you were not raised to behave this way."

Before either of us could speak, Rick was pullin' me in one direction while daddy and Carol pulled Lori in the other.

* * *

**Rick** -

We slept without anyone on watch for the first time since he farm. It was good for us because today is the day, we're goin' to take the prison and make us a home.

"Do you think we can make it?" Beth asked from beside me.

I kept my eyes on the walkers inside the prison courtyard but nodded my head. "Yeah, I do."

I looked down at her when I felt her slip her hand into mine and squeeze it a little.

"You're doin' good, Rick. You're protectin' us and takin' care of us. Thank you for that."

I leaned down and kissed the top of her head. "Don't thank me, Beth."

She smiled and leaned into my side. "C'mon," she whispered and tugged on my hand.

 


End file.
